He is an equal opportunity slut.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
