if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
