Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
