Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
