My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
