guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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