Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
