carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
