At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
