Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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