Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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