Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
