I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
