It's Friday. Sex?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
