..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize