I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
