He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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