I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize