i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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