Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
