I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
