its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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