Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
