i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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