Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
