he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
