He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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