Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
