Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
