remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
