I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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