I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
