Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just made my gag reflex go away.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
