i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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