i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
