Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Is this like a preordered booty call?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
