...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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