summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
