Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
