Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
