it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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