he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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