Dual....:-)
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
