it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
