Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
