So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
