When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
