Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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