just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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