I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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