Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
