So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
