god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize