Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
