Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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