Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
