I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
